Things always happen for a reason when you are living the gospel and doing all that you can for others and your heavenly father. He has put some amazing people in my life.

As my husband and I strive to make god driven decisions it seems that the way is opened, people pop into our lives from no where and we are blessed beyond our wildest imaginations.

My girls are at church camp this week and I am completely lost without their sweet spirits in our home. I miss their drama, their laughter and even their tears. I love all my children and grand children and wish we could all live closer, but I am so proud of each and every one of them for their great strength and determination and their wide open hearts for love and service. My children, each and every one of them, are compassionate loving hard working young adults.

I am so grateful for our new friends the Getties. They are the most loving, charitable, humble, people I have ever met. They have a big house filled with absolutely loving and precious children who all love and live the gospel. Through great people like the Gettys we learn how to be true examples of Christ. I have a lot of caring loving people here in Texas that I am very proud to know, who's lives are completely dedicated to service and love. I feel very lucky and blessed to be a loud to enjoy their families and lives.

I have a lot of friends here in Texas and if I started listing them all this blog would take all night. They know who they are and I love them all. I'm in a extremely grateful humble mood these days.

I have put my problems in the hands of Christ and through him all things are possible. He never said it would be easy only worth it. It's funny once you sincerely do that things no longer seem like problems at all, but only challenges. We made some summer time decisions that hopefully will pay off with just a few months of sacrifices. If not Im not a fraid I know his will , will be done and all is well.

Im super tired to day I dont even know why. Well good night for now....................

June 4th, 2010
I had a ok day, I just saw Shanel off to go to Megan dugoods so she and Megan can go to Florida tomorrow for a week at Disneyland. Im not sure if I really like letting go. It was very hard for me to let her go but the two girls have been planning this graduation trip for a while and I geuss Its time to let her go.

When she gets back she leaves for another week to her 7th year of church girls camp.Then it will be time to prepare for the big trip to Idaho so she can become a college student.

How I wish she was still little and I could dress and play all day with her and care for her. She has grown into such a amazing young lady and I am very proud of her. Her sister is pretty amazing too.

Im quickly becoming a empty nester and Im not liking it. Im finding that I have become the kids mom and not much of anything else.

Here goes the whinning..... Since 1999 I have been home only working when and where I wanted and not really grasping onto a career or even a job. I have been doing online college for over a year now and have achieved over 40 college credits. I have yet to see where even a degree will help some one at my age that doesnt have a career. I dont feel really connected with the community or people here in Texas and I dont even feel connected to myself these days. I geuss it is just one of those day where I dont feel very happy. I am greatful for my friends and family I just wish I had people a round that I felt like I had some thing in common with.....

I have come to the conclusion that when I left my career to be a mom I sunk both my feet into that and enjoyed it so much that I let my identity go some how. Now where to find it? Being the anilitical person that I am, I figure that I have to do research, learn some new skills and hobbies and try and get to know more people. I have been trying to find things i can do for people and with people (adults) so that I can build my new circle of influennce in order to pull myself out of this depressing rut I am in. Im finding that I have such a large range of interest that It makes it hard for me to realistically begin any of them ugg.... Again time to prioritise and just start jumping in. I have been trying to walk and swim regularly in order to try and get into shape. Thats not going real well either.

I geuss I just need to stop thinking so much and pray and read my scriptures more, through christ all things are possible, and he really does want me to be positive. My heavenly father has always cared for me and protected me and for this I am truely grateful. I know that through faith and obedience through the gospel I will find my way and my place in this great big world.

Good noght till next time....